How do we connect to ourselves during dysregulation.

“Quit Pretending” is a directive I am definitely not familiar with doing when teaching children. “Fake it ‘til you make it” was my normal go to, which even included when my students disregarded safety protocols. So, when I took Lisa Dion’s workshop, who is the founder of the Synergetic Play Therapy Institute, I was extremely surprised with what she shared. Apparently, you can’t fake it with young children, which I always new but it was really nice to hear her echo that sentiment and back it up with research.

When we carry an internal sense of safety we are able to bring that with us largely to most places that we go.

-Dr. Arielle Scwartz

I am devoted to finding ways to use art, movement, and discussion to help cultivate collective spaces for young children that allows them to learn in an authentically enriching way. I must admit that I want to cultivate belonging safe spaces for children because I deeply want to belong and feel safe. I want us to reclaim our birthright of safety, as Dr. Arielle Schwartz encourages.

“No. Thanks!” This is what I wish I said much more often as a young child. Instead I often felt obligated to give into requests like, “Give your Auntie a hug and a kiss Maya! Give me those cheeks! My turn!” As a child, I wasn’t given the opportunity to exercise agency over my body all of the time, especially during interactions with elders.

You belong. They belong. We all belong.

These are two really fun worksheets to identify and empower one’s self. They are in the matching workbook that accompanies the children’s album Monroe Snow and I did together. Share it with the young one’s in your life. I also challenge you to complete the worksheet yourself. Although the workbook and album is for early childhood education, I find it to be refreshing, reaffirming, and validating for people of ALL ages, including my self.

Imagine being surrounded by a loving embrace, like a cocoon of safety and comfort. That's the power of community! In times of both joy and sorrow, we find solace in the arms of our community. Whether it's a shoulder to lean on or hands reaching out to help, community nurtures a web of support that carries us through life's highs and lows.

"How do you feel Sage?", I ask my four year old, and she replies almost always, "Good." Good is such a default answer for her that she would answer "good" if people ask her ANYTHING. "What's your favorite color Sage.? Sage saids assuredly," Good."While we always chuckle about it, I want her to be able to identify exactly what she feels in her body so she can decide what she feels comfortable to opt in or out of with people and with herself.

It made me think. How do we help her feel safe in her body and help her develop n awareness to the wide range of sensations and emotions potentially present in her body? Furthermore, how do we help her set boundaries for her own body and encourage her to respect other people's boundaries at the same time.

“Mom, I feel invisible”, said my then 5 year old toffee colored daughter Monroe Snow. As I drove her home from school, I immediately could feel sadness fill my body, because I remember vivid moments in my childhood when I felt invisible and like I didn’t belong. I remember picking up on non-verbal verbal communication that I didn’t belong. I felt, what people call, otherized. Often I wondered if it was my culture, my skin color, my hair, my gender, my speech. Either way, it sucked to feel this way.

For this reason, I have become OBSESSED with fun ways to cultivate a sense of belonging for my self and young ones equally.

When I began teaching children and adults, I would use mindfulness practices to bring attention to the students’ bodies for self regulation. I often encouraged them to close their eyes, but I made a big mistake. I didn’t give them choices.